I watched American Idol for the first time last night. First of all, I don’t understand the title. Is it suggesting that the American public wants to be these people? What about the older generation? Or those who aren’t dissatisfied with their lives? It's practically an insult. The only smart thought I had was that it markets the American Dream, which we’ve been doing for awhile now, probably even before Star Search. Somehow, beyond all of my effort to limit my enjoyment to the ironic kind, I felt the teeniest urge to nod my head to the music or feel elated when the could-be-nastier “mean” judge told a contestant she sang well. I also noticed the host’s question for the contestant is actually suspenseful since we’re waiting for something smart or funny in response. And even though it never is, the feeling remains.

Last night before falling asleep, I threw my top pillow on the papasan, which we’ve been borrowing from Mikey for years now. And like every night, I accurately aimed the pillow so that it didn’t fall on the floor, where it might collect cat hair. It occurred to me that when I do something so simple as land a pillow in a chair three times its size, that I feel a sense of triumph. I experience a feeling like ‘wow, if only they could see me now.’ For some reason it reminds me of my friend Matt who would laugh at people who tricked dogs, interpreting their thoughts, “I’m smarter than a dog!” I also have this irrational feeling of accomplishment when I put on or take off my winter accessories with skillful ease or wipe my mouth on the towel before spitting after brushing to save time.