Bobos

While cleaning out the closet today, Jen and I got around to sorting our pile of shoes that has been growing for several years now. Once we'd ditched or marked for donation what we didn't need, I challenged Jen to a friendly competition of Who Owns the Most Shoes, a competition which is only won or lost depending on how you feel about shoes. For us, and I'm speaking for Jen here, too many shoes would be frivolous since we pride ourselves as simple people who don't use or buy more than we need.

So let's see how well we live up to our standards. The final score was Jen's 16 to my 15. So apparently I only own one pair fewer shoes than my wife. Most men, I'm guessing, would be embarrassed by giving their wives a run for their money in the shoe department. After looking over my shoes, however, I think I've discovered a reason not to be. It seems to me that shoes only become excessive when their purpose is limited to matching outfits. In my defense, almost all of my shoes have a very specific practical function. My Bike shoes are for biking; my running shoes are for running; my winter boots are for snow storms; and my flip flops are for the beach, or days when I'm too lazy to wear socks. At least 8 of my shoes have such a purpose, leaving me with only 7 duplicates in any category for the frivolity of matching. One of these duplicates are my two pairs of winter boots, the stylish duck boots for work and the heavy, wool insulated work boots that I needed for Habitat in the winter. There's nothing excessive, or, for that matter, unmanly, about having armored foot attire for building houses in sub-zero temperatures... is there?

Admittedly, my shoe selection tends to the be the vainest in the Summer months. Somehow, I ended up with three pairs of different colored old navy flip flops, converse, and a pair of vans. Maybe I just need to admit that I have a shoe problem.

The worst part about having a shoe problem if you're a man, especially a rather tall one? Size 13s are not small by any standard, and most shoe stands and bags barely fit them, since they're mostly designed for the shoe hoarding needs of the finer, more petite sex. If only some genius would invent a multi-purpose shoe that could be worn all year, trotted out for any occasion, and strapped on for any sport, then all our problems would be solved. Or at the very least, someone would have invented a very ugly shoe.

In conclusion, I leave you with a little diddy from my childhood that occurred to me today:

Bobos, they make your feet feel fine.

Bobos, they cost a dollar 99.

Bobos, they are for hobos.

So get your bobos, for hobos, today.